I often joke that my kids are either going to be the President of the United States or in an insane asylum by how I parent. This post is one of those examples that shows my alternative methods.
Most parents just go take their girls to get their ears pierced. Not me.
See I didn’t get my ears pierced until I was in the 9th grade. And I still remember my first pair of earrings (and so do many of my jr. high friends! A couple of them mentioned the iconic silver hoops at my recent high school reunion.)
(Insert old high school photo here when I can find one…)
Anyway, so when Elle asked me when she could get her ears pierced when she was just six years old, I had to do some thinking about my philosophy on ear piercing. I thought and pondered and talked to my husband and we agreed on a few requirements before it was time to pierce her ears.
1. I knew she had to be at least 8. This is the age that I feel she is able to make important decisions. And I think putting a hole in your ear is an important decision that I wanted her to be capable to make for her own body.
2. But the ear piercing could not be associated with her 8th birthday at all. In our church we get baptized at age 8 and I wanted 8 to be all about her baptism and that special occasion, not about getting her ears pierced.
That is where the moral issue ended for me and the rest of my requirements were responsibility based. (It’s possible that these next requirements are just stall tactics because I didn’t want my little girl to get boobies earrings.)
3. Elle had to demonstrate sufficient responsibility. I can barely get my kids’ teeth brushed and my own legs shaved. I don’t need another hygiene issue to worry about every day. Elle would need to be responsible enough to be completely in charge of her own cleanings and maintenance.
Last year when Elle asked me again if she could get her ears pierced, I said, “You can’t even keep your room clean. (See this post.) I am not giving you something else to clean.” That excuse worked for a year.
But this year her room has been picked up every day. (See this post.) So I gave her another requirement (can you see me stalling here…)
4. I told her she needed to do the research on where we should go. She had to call 3 places and ask questions and price check. We brainstormed together who she could call and what she could ask. She recorded everything in a notebook. Here are the questions she asked the different businesses:
How much does it cost?
What does the price include?
Do I need an appointment?
When is the best time to come?
She was really nervous (in fact it took her a few weeks to get the courage to complete this requirement) so we role played a few times what the phone conversation might go like. We played both Elle and the store worker.
When she was ready to make the calls, she googled the stores names and got their phone numbers. It was cute to listen to her talk with these businesses on the phone.
5. At the very end, I threw on another requirement to continue the stall. She had to interview 5 friends about their experience. We brainstormed questions she could ask her friends.
Where did you go?
What was it like?
Were they nice?
Would you recommend them?
She came home from school the next day and had completed her interviews. From all her research, she decided she wanted to go to Claire’s.
It looks like Elle has proven that she is responsible enough to get her ears pierced. No more stalling. I must face that my little girl is growing up and going to get earrings. Now we just need to pull the trigger.
![I spoke in church today and said the Atonement of Jesus Christ is the greatest act of Charity. I read Moroni 7:45-47 to make my point. But wherever there was the word ‘Charity’ I substituted it out for ‘the Atonement of Jesus Christ.’ See if these scripture verses now have new meaning for you:
“And the Atonement of Jesus Christ suffererth long, and is kind, and envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth in the truth,
[The Atonement of Jesus Christ] beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
Wherefore, my beloved brethren, if ye have not the Atonement of Jesus Christ, ye are nothing, for the Atonement of Jesus Christ never faileth. Wherefore, cleave unto the Atonement of Jesus Christ, which is the greatest of all, for all things must fail-
But the Atonement of Jesus Christ is the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever; and whoso is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him.”
So Easter really reminds us of love. The first and greatest commandment.](https://www.raisinglemons.com/wp-content/plugins/instagram-feed-pro/img/placeholder.png)
Boobies. Hahahahahahaha!!
A cleaning tip for Elle: Get a little medicine syringe to squirt the antiseptic on your ears every day. It’s much easier then a cotton ball.
Boobies and earrings…OH MY!!! Pull the trigger. She is 8 going on 25. ha
I was 12. Which seems so old compared to know a days (love that saying). Not planning on piercing Annie’s ears for as long as possible. I liked your process of it all. Good work.
I had to be 12 yrs old before I could get my ears pierced. I didn’t like it, but I knew it was our family rule. –My husband’s family rule was also 12, so that was what we thought we would do.
As we had kids and my girls started asking about getting their ears pierced, I started really thinking about it and started talking to my husband. Did it really have to be 12? We decided that we didn’t have a problem with it being before the age of 12, but that they would have to be responsible enough to take care of them. We came up with 9, so that it didn’t compete with being baptized.
My oldest daughter was past 9, but younger than 12, when we made this change. She gave us a hard time about it, but then went on a fun date to get her ears pirced with her 9 year old sister and I.
One more daughter to go…she just turned 8 this year and is looking forward to getting her ears pierced next birthday. 🙂
I love that you assessed an arbitrary rule and made a different choice based on personal beliefs. I am so glad that I waited with my daughter until she was old enough to make her own choice and responsible enough to take care of her own ears.
BTW- I loved all the research and stretching your daughter had to do before getting her ears pierced. What a great idea..wish I had thought of that. 🙂
I love reading about other people’s decisions regarding ear piercings. My nana’s family is from Mexico, and at that time baby girls got their ears pierced in the hospital. When they came to America they realized this wasn’t the norm, so my Nana got her’s done when she was 2 months, and that became the “new” tradition. So I did both my girl’s ears at 2 months. My in-laws were not pleased, saying that I took away their choice, and for them earrings are allowed after baptism. I joined the LDS church when my oldest daughter was 1-year-old. I always figured they’d have more than one ear piercing like I did until that point. Now I’m a little sad that I miss out on them asking and wanting their ears done. I love that you had your daughter research it! What a GREAT idea! 🙂
I love all the requirements! And having her call the businesses is a great growing experience. I think we’ll wait until 9, too.
Specifics of my own- surgical grade steel earrings, and we’ll be going to a professional piercer. Plenty of bad experiences with “the gun” and I figure why not go to a pro. Nearest one is 100 miles away . -.-
https://www.safepiercing.org/