I am on a mission to educate my kids (and the world) about the “No Offense” clause.
As a general rule, if you have to preface a statement by “No offense”, then it is going to be offensive.
Like when my BIL said, “No offense Tiffany, but your neighborhood seemed like white trash.”
Or when Crew said, “No offense mom, but Thalia’s cookies are better than yours.”
Or when Croft said, “No offense mom, but you don’t sound very good when you sing.”
Or when my son said, “No offense mom, but you are kinda fat.”
Or when Elle tells Crew, “You look like a baby; no offense.”
All of these statements may be true. But the “no offense” part does nothing to take away the sting of their reality. In fact I would rather have you just flat out put me down than try to frost it with “No offense.”
Close cousins to the hurtful “no offense” clause are
“I’m sorry, but…” or
“Just kidding” or
“Not to be rude, but…”
I have tried to teach my kids this concept. I keep telling them if you feel the need to say “no offense” there is your clue that you shouldn’t say what you are about to say because it is most likely offensive.
It is delicate to teach your children that honesty is not always the best policy and it is a difficult principle for them to grasp. But it is a valuable life skill that my kids (and the rest of us) understand that sometimes it is best to just not say anything.
![I spoke in church today and said the Atonement of Jesus Christ is the greatest act of Charity. I read Moroni 7:45-47 to make my point. But wherever there was the word ‘Charity’ I substituted it out for ‘the Atonement of Jesus Christ.’ See if these scripture verses now have new meaning for you:
“And the Atonement of Jesus Christ suffererth long, and is kind, and envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth in the truth,
[The Atonement of Jesus Christ] beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
Wherefore, my beloved brethren, if ye have not the Atonement of Jesus Christ, ye are nothing, for the Atonement of Jesus Christ never faileth. Wherefore, cleave unto the Atonement of Jesus Christ, which is the greatest of all, for all things must fail-
But the Atonement of Jesus Christ is the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever; and whoso is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him.”
So Easter really reminds us of love. The first and greatest commandment.](https://www.raisinglemons.com/wp-content/plugins/instagram-feed-pro/img/placeholder.png)
I once heard the idea of a ruler. Smack a ruler on someone’s palm and just saying “just kidding” or”no offense” doesn’t take the sting away.
I like this object lesson. Thanks, Penny!
No offense, but you’re amazing!
I love this! When I saw this post I thought ‘Finally, someone who thinks like me.’ I’ve been telling my kids for years ‘If you have to preface something you’re going to say with ‘No offense’ then keep your mouth shut!’ Thank you for sharing!
Our society has become ruder and ruder. You hit the nail on the head! Just like when Flower said to Thumper, “If you can’t say anything nice then you shouldn’t say anything at all!” Good Advice!